Adjusting to life in Korea

Other than work and the traveling and the long commutes, the most common question everybody has is, naturally, how is life different living in Korea?

My dear father kept telling me before I left to "find my center" and "maintain my center". After three months here, I think I understand. As proficient as my spoken Korean may be, as much as I enjoyed drinking soju and eating korean bbq, as involved as I was with Korean/Asian activities throughout school, I realize I am by no means Korean. Surprisingly, the work aspect may be the most American-like of all the things going on in my life. Here is a short list of what I've realized during my time here...

1) I thought I had to party like there was no tomorrow because I was in Korea. Why not right? I'm single, I work for the largest company in Korea, I have my own place, I have disposable income and I didn't have an established set of friends like I did back home. In what should be a surprise to no one, I don't like partying, even in Korea. I don't like staying out until 5 AM, I don't like getting so drunk that I'm hungover for days, and I certainly don't like going out to the "hottest" clubs or the "happening" lounges. Just because I am in a different country with different venues doesn't mean that I have to act like a fool and go blow wads of money doing something that I don't really enjoy all that much. This means what going forward? I will be going home after dinner and some drinks. Pronouncing I am cutting out alcohol entirely is certainly foolish and I won't make that mistake again; pronouncing that I will not be staggering home at 4 AM is a much better idea.

2) I thought I had to be in a relationship because I was in Korea. This has probably provided the most entertainment in during my short time here. Friends and family members all think that since I am of the age with the proper job and appropriate housing situation, I should get married in the very near future. If not marriage, then I certainly needed a girlfriend in their opinion to complete my existence. Now, while I am not saying I am opposed to meeting a woman, I certainly never felt the need to be in a relationship before... why should this change just because I'm in Korea? I will admit that walking around in Paris made me think I would like to go back with a girlfriend and spend more time there; going into a Baskin Robbins with 2 guys and seeing 40 couples sitting inside does make me pause for a second, especially when people turn around to stare at the 3 English speaking guys.

But since when did I need a girlfriend to "complete me"? Meeting new women is fun, going to new restaurants and trying out different types of cuisine is fun, but I've let the Korean mentality influence me into making some rash decisions since I've been here. Will I be open to meeting new women? It would be foolish not to do so. Will I be more patient? Absolutely.

3) I was never going to find a decent church in Korea since I struggled with the issue in America. I didn't want to go to a Korean service and I was told I essentially had three choices for large english ministries here. Three. In California, I had maybe 30 within a 20 minute driving radius and I never quite settled into a church there. In retrospect, I wasn't ready and being the smartypants that I am, it wasn't very difficult to come up with a endless list of faults to never decide on a church. Now?

Sometimes God truly does work in mysterious ways... the church I grew up in, the church I would call my home church, the church where I met some of my best friends, the church that caused so many issues and the place that taught me all the good and ugly sides of a mega church in California... is now the first church I have ever signed up for Newmember bible study. Sarang EM in Seoul of all places is where I feel the most comfortable, the place where I want to call home, get involved, attend bible study, be an encouragement to my brothers and sisters and possibly even teach high school students. Not because its the closest (it's certainly not), not because its the biggest (the pratfalls of being at an EM of a very large church is certainly not lost on me), not because it has the prettiest girls (I may have to revise this statement, but for now this is certainly not true), but because for the first time since perhaps 7th grade feel like I am at home at a church. A church I can grow with, a church I want to serve and most importantly, a church that I am willing to accept for what it is, with all of its shortcomings and imperfect people. I am excited, for the first time in a very long time, to go to church, to prepare bible study materials and really be willing to get involved.

I realized today that my relationship with God and church has been affected by many factors, including my parents, friends, school organizations and heck even the profession that I have chosen to enter. Now, on the verge of turning 29, after about 12 years of wondering why things were the way they were, I can honestly and confidently say that I want God to be in my life.

Don't worry, I won't start posting daily bible verses or stop posting about USC football or talk about the other shenanigans that occur in Korea... but if you've read this far, I ask that you will pray for me to not give up when things impede my walk with God.

Finally, one last anecdote about the women in Korea (told you I wouldn't change that much). My building has a beauty salon on the ground floor... I went there to get a haircut there about 2-3 weeks after I got to Korea and thought that my stylist was incredibly beautiful. My comment to some friends was "thank God we don't have to tip here or I might have given her a 100% tip on a $15 haircut". For one reason or another, I didn't get my hair cut again by this woman until this past weekend... where I didn't recognize her. Now, for those of you that don't get why this is significant, most men will never forget a pretty face. Ever. If a man meets a woman that he thinks is beautiful, three YEARS could pass and as long as she materially looked the same, that woman's face will be remembered. The fact that I didn't remember her in some 2 odd months... I take that as a sign that my standards and expectations of beauty has significantly gone up while I have been here. I left Hollywood and sunny Los Angeles... and wound up in a superficial winterland.